


Afterimage

by The_Elephant_in_the_Pride_Parade



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst, Episode: s05e06 Timeless, F/M, Smut, they definitely had dessert, what even is the Temporal prime directive?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 15:49:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19948795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Elephant_in_the_Pride_Parade/pseuds/The_Elephant_in_the_Pride_Parade
Summary: Contribution to the Worth A Grand J/C Photo Prompt Fic Fest, for Photo #55: Missing scenes from Episode 5x06, Timeless





	Afterimage

**Author's Note:**

> Many many many thanks to Bizarra for organizing the Photo Prompt Fest, and huge huge thanks to Deannalauren for betaing the first M rated fic I've ever posted.

Afterimage: (n.) the impression of a vivid sensation (especially a visual image) long after the stimulus has ceased.

* * *

"Captain's log, supplemental. Our slipstream flight may have been brief, but it took nearly ten years off our journey. I've given the order to dismantle the Quantum Drive until the technology can be perfected. Despite the setback, we have a renewed sense of momentum. It no longer seems a question of if we get home, but when."

Janeway ended her log and sighed. Ten years was quite a jump, but it was a far cry from all the way home. She surveyed her bridge.

The crew of Gamma shift was a whole lot quieter than Alpha shift. Ensign Jenkins was sitting a bit stiffly in her seat at the conn, unused to having the Captain behind her. 

She'd dropped in after leaving Harry with his message, finding herself unable to sleep. Her mind was turning over too many thoughts: the preliminary report on the area of space they’d dropped into after the slipstream flight, how Ensign Kim would be affected by their failure and by what would have happened were it not for his… alternate self. Kathryn wrinkled her nose. Of all the things she had signed up to deal with today, time travel had not been one.

She'd watched the message of course. It had been a shock to realize she could see the back of Chakotay's head in the recording. His hair had aged into a salt and pepper color that suited him. 

How had it been for him in that future? Not just one of two surviving officers, but the sole survivor of the Maquis crew. Had he been pardoned upon reaching home? How had he dealt with the loss of the ship so soon after the news from Telvik’s Moon? Janeway looked over at his chair, the supervisor of Gamma shift, Lieutenant Rollins, was sitting there, and looked just as tense as Jenkins at the Conn. Of course he was, he hadn’t been left to chair Gamma shift very often and now had his Captain dropping in on him.

She wondered what that future Chakotay had done. Had he rejoined Starfleet? Or tried to find his tribe. How much of that future had he spent on the mission to save their lives?

 _Did he blame me?_ The thought gave her pause. The Captain drummed her fingers on the arm of her chair. Chakotay had expressed serious concerns about their plan last night. They’re been well founded at the time and were painfully astute in hindsight’s unforgiving light.

 _I dismissed his concerns_. No, she’d gone further than that. She shifted in her chair as she recalled the night before. More than dismissing his caution, she’d enticed him to agree to the risk.

The averted disaster had truly fallen more on herself than Ensign Kim. Young and clinging to idealism as he was, determined and bright and blind to the obvious risks, of course he would promise them the Alpha Quadrant. It was his Captain’s job to see past his self confidence: to measure risk with shrewd eyes and forgo the temptations offered by the chance of success.

But she had forgotten caution for of all things, personal gain.

She shook her head, banishing thoughts of what she and Chakotay had shared last night. _A moment of weakness_ , she decided. A foolish one at that. And dwelling on it would do her no good when they were still so many decades from home. _Damn._

“So much for dessert,” she muttered.

"Captain?" Lieutenant Rollins asked.

She was saved from having to explain by the turbolift doors swishing open. Seven of Nine strode out onto the bridge.

"Captain" she declared, holding out a tricorder. "While regenerating, I detected another message encoded in the transmission." The Captain took the tricorder as Seven explained. "I failed to recognize it when I downloaded Ensign Kim’s because it was damaged. I believe it was added to the transmission at the last minute, and may have been affected by the disruption of the temporal link.”

"Were you able to clean it up?"

"Easily - it is addressed to Commander Chakotay." 

Kathryn stood "Well thank you Seven." she turned it over in her hands. she had a gut feeling who would be sending a message to her First Officer. "I'll try to catch him before he turns in - dismissed" she headed for the turbo lift. "I leave her in your capable hands, Mr. Rollins."

“Thank you, Captain.” he stood and nodded to her, but the Captain’s eyes were already on the title of the log file. _Chakotay to Chakotay - Clearance Level Nine_

The turbolift opened. Kathryn stepped off the bridge.

* * *

Chakotay stepped onto the bridge. He watched his breath freeze instantly upon contact with the air.

He needed to get the rest of the telemetry. They needed as accurate a record as possible if they were going to get the phase corrections and the temporal link precisely right. He’d left Tessa on the surface this time, to install localized transport disruptors over the area of the ship. They couldn’t afford _The Challenger_ locking onto their bio-signs and beaming them into the brig at this stage.

Voyagers former First Officer walked gingerly across the frozen deck plating. Just as he had the last time they had been on the ship, Chakotay took the time to walk the perimeter of the bridge. He passed Tuvok, folded over the tactical console. He stepped around the other crew of Alpha shift, icy and stiff on the floor. He made himself look at Tom Paris body as he passed it - as broken as the conn that he’d bashed his head into.

Chakotay made himself face all of them, again, out of respect and to prepare, as if it would make the worst sight any more bearable.

Then he turned, and walked to her.

The body of Captain Kathryn Janeway lay awkwardly twisted on the floor by her command chair, arm outstretched, like she’d been reaching for Tom when it had all gone to hell. her eyes were open, icy and terrible. piercing even in death. 

_Kathryn_

He first set up the power cell on the command console and began downloading the needed data. His hands shook as he set up the data transfer.

Then he turned and knelt beside the body; his worn knees ached against the unforgiving, frozen deck. He lifted a gloved hand to her face, cupping her frozen cheek. 

Her eyes were stone cold, still and shiny as glass. The blue color has faded under the ice to a muted, lifeless grey.

He swallowed a sob as it struck him that he could not remember what color blue her eyes had been when he had kissed her goodbye.

 _“I don’t know Kathryn_ ,” he had murmured against her lips. “ _It’s a risk._ ”

 _“No more than this is,”_ she had been flushed, with a bright grin on her face the likes of which he hadn’t seen since they’d left New Earth and all it represented behind them.

But of course her spark was back today. They were going home.

 _“And no more of a risk than letting you pilot the Flyer,”_ she had teased. 

It had been so damn easy to give in to her happiness.

 _“The Flyer and I get along much better than those old duranium buckets,”_ he’d given her a serious look. “ _A lot could go wrong.”_

 _“It won’t,”_ She snapped and stepped away from him. _“Go - there’s still time before the Alpha shift wakes up._

He’d shaken his head and gone along. 

_“And Commander”_ she’d said as she waved him out the door. She’d given him that bright, rare grin. “ _I’ll see you in the Alpha Quadrant”_

Chakotay’s face stung as tears froze to his cheeks. He swallowed a sob. Some of her hair was frozen across her face. It cracked and broke as he tried to brush it aside. He wished he could do more than lay her more neatly on the floor. He tried to close her eyes but the thick gloves only scraped against her frozen skin as if it were stone.

"I should have tried harder to convince you," he murmured, feeling his skin stinging where tears were freezing to it. He bowed his head over her. “I failed you.” 

All those years he had denied her insistence that a relationship would hurt their command, would endanger their ship. And when she’d finally given in, the promise of home breaking her resolve, it was him who’d found out just how right she’d been all along.

He knew if he made his way down to deck three, that PADD with all his calculations - the proof that the certainty of the risk far outweighed the expected reward - would still be frozen to her dining table, with the candles long dead and the empty glasses frosted over.

He bent over, tugging the face mask down so that he could press his lips against the painfully cold skin of her forehead.

_She always said the protocol existed for a reason._

“You were right,” he murmured.

* * *

“ _You were right,”_ she whispered. Her heated breath tickled his nose as she took his hands and pulled him out of his chair. “I was hiding behind protocol” she stepped right into his space, pressing her body against his, her breath shaky against his neck. “I’m done with that.”

Chakotay didn’t question her urgency or examine her desperation. He didn’t point out that after waiting five years, what did one more night really matter for the sake of principles.

He did none of that. Instead he moaned at the feeling of her lips caressing his jaw. He pressed her against him, one hand released hers so he could touch her hip. His fingers curled around her ass as her nails ran up the back of his jacket, over his collar, and cupped the back of his neck. She pulled him down to her mouth and he let her, breathing the same sigh of relief as their lips, after years of longing, finally made contact.

The calculations were on the table beside him. He could still have pressed his point.

Instead he turned away, and pressed Kathryn against the bulkhead. He lost himself in the rush of hearing his name carried on her breathless gasp, as he unclasped her shirt, peeling it down her arms and out of his way. Four pips clattered to the deck and his jacket, her shirt, and her bra, soon followed.

“ _Kathryn_ ” He groaned, lifting her up and putting his mouth to the hot flushed skin of her neck. She moaned, fingers running through his hair as her center ground against his erection. Her legs wrapped tight around his back, urging him on. He willingly followed, savoring the sensations: her grasping hands, her throaty moans as he applied his mouth to her neck and then her breasts, her gasp as he pushed her pants down and off her hips and found a surprise sensitive spot as his mouth grazed the crest of her hip.

He found his way to his knees and looked up at the beauty of her: body arcing against the bulkhead, her hands grasping for the wall and for his hair as she tried to keep her balance. 

He lifted her legs, resting her thighs on his shoulders, and leaned in, laving his tongue over her clit and watching as her head fell back against the wall, heaving gasping breaths as he drove her closer and closer to the edge.

Her hands tugged at his hair and he looked up and found her eyes gazing back at his, dark and stunned, as her body quaked around him. She slipped, and he caught her. He lifted her up as he stood, kissing her anywhere he could reach.

She gasped. “Bed. Now.”

“ _Fuck, Kathryn”_

* * *

“ _Fuck!”_ Harry’s shout, and the bang of his fist against the wall made Chakotay and Tessa swivel around in their seats. 

“ _Control yourself!_ ” the Doctor shouted back.

Chakotay listened in to their conversation: his heart plummeting and then lifting with renewed hope as he saw Kim rush back to the computer. “I could send a phase correction which would disperse the Slipstream entirely.”

“Three minutes!” Chakotay called back to Kim, “I can’t give you more than that.” 

_“Warning,”_ the computer only served to emphasize his warning. “ _Warp core breach in 3 minutes.”_

“He’ll do it.” Tessa whispered. Her face red under the warning lights.

Chakotay looked out at the stars through the viewscreen, and gave himself a moment to mourn. He wouldn’t get he and Kathryn home.

But she and the crew would be alive. With every new day ahead of them to try again. 

And she would do it. He had no doubt.

But...

But he couldn’t fail her again. Not like last time.

“There’s one more thing I need to do,” he told Tessa. “Computer. Begin personal log.”

The recording started up and he stared grimly at the camera. “Chakotay...this isn’t the message I was hoping to send.”

* * *

_“Chakotay… this isn’t the message I was hoping to send.”_

Kathryn’s breath caught in her throat as she stared at the grainy image of Chakotay, aged 15 years. Her fingers hovered over the image of him as he spoke.

_“15 years ago we failed to get Voyager through the slipstream and... everyone we love was killed. We wanted to get you all the way to the Alpha Quadrant, but we can't. Instead we're shutting down the drive."_

Kathryn watched him tug his ear and then turn around. _"I need a minute."_

A woman left the cabin.

_“Warp core breach in 2 minutes”_

_"Computer, mute alarms for 60 seconds"_

There was silence.

Then the Chakotay in the future took a breath and looked directly at the camera.

_"This isn’t what I wanted to tell you. But if you’re still in the Delta Quadrant, you need to hear it... You need to move on."_

His eyes were dark and piercing, staring at her through time. He looked haunted as he pressed on. _"Kathryn was right. Our feelings were dangerous. I went to her that night knowing this plan was almost certainly a disaster. My gut said it wouldn’t work and the data backed me up. If I’d had any resolve at all I would have pressed her to reconsider."_ He sighed. _"But I wanted her to be right. I let myself believe the risk was worth the reward and I ignored how skewed the odds were between the two. I let my feelings into our command, and Kathryn and the crew paid the price. You can't make that mistake again. Keep them alive. Get them home."_

Her throat was dry and her hands shook as the message continued.

_"Chakotay, Challenger is hailing."_

_"Got to go. I'm cutting it close._ " He stared at the camera. _"Every day is another chance. Don’t screw it up."_

Kathryn sat back on the couch, staring as the message cut out. 

She was still staring at the now blank, blurry computer screen when her door chimed

“Come,” she rasped and cleared her throat, rubbing her eyes to clear them.

Chakotay slipped through the doors. He raised a bottle of cider and two glasses. “I come bearing gifts,” he said, smiling. He looked tired. “You wanted to see me.”

“I did.” She leaned forward and turned the computer and the tricorder towards him. “Seems Harry wasn’t the only one to get a message through time. The other Chakotay sent one to you as well.”

He looked over at her, wide eyed, and turned to the computer. He reached to activate it.

And hesitated. Kathryn frowned as he closed the computer and shook his head. “No,” he said. “Think I’m better off without.”

She stared at him as he moved to set the glasses on the table and popped the cork on the cider. “But… you don’t want know what he said?” 

Chakotay shook his head. “I have enough ghosts to haunt me,” he passed her a drink. “I don’t need his too.” And he raised his glass. “To ten years closer.”

His glass clacked against hers and he took a hearty sip. She cupped hers in both hands, staring into the amber liquid.

“ _Kathryn”_

She turned towards him, regarding his concerned gaze and seeing the same eyes, haunted by 150 ghosts. Chakotay’s finger tilted her chin up, grounding her in the present. “Don’t dwell on what won’t happen. We’re alive. And we’re 10,000 light years closer to home. That’s all that matters.”

He leaned closer, and she realized with a start that he was going to kiss her. She put her hand up against his chest, pushing him back and standing from the couch. “We can’t.” 

“That’s not what you said last night.”

“The situation has changed,” she snapped. And she paced away from the couch, turning to face the starscape outside. She heard him sigh and looked down at her drink, swirling it. “It was unfair of me last night, I know.”

She chanced a look at him. Chakotay was tugging on his ear. “Is it something I… er he said?” 

She looked away. “We’re still in the Delta Quadrant,” she said. “I got my hopes up and led us into something I shouldn’t have. I didn’t mean to make you think I’d changed my mind.” 

“No, no I understand.” 

She swallowed the lump in her throat. She spoke towards the dark starry expanse out the window “If you need to take a day.”

“Not necessary,” he said, and she chanced another glance. She watched him down the rest of his cider. Then he stood, and took the bottle.

She ached to invite him to stay, finish the cider, have a coffee, anything to diminish the chill that had suddenly filled the room.

But her mind went to that future Chakotay. He was right. This was too dangerous - what they were dancing on the edge of.

So instead she stared out at the stars and forced the words out. “Good. Then I’ll see you on the bridge tomorrow, Commander.” 

She heard him padding towards the door as she studied the stars. They were still for now, _Voyager_ at rest while the slipstream drive was removed from Engineering. Outside was a whole new array of constellations than what had been visible yesterday. But still none of the familiar stars from Earth’s sky. They were still too far. She reached up and rubbed her neck.

“Kathryn” 

She jumped as she realized Chakotay had returned to her side. He was standing so close that she bumped into him as she turned. His hand came up to cup her cheek.

“In case he said something I’ll regret,” he said. And he pressed his mouth to hers. “We’ll get there,” he breathed. “Everyday’s another chance.” 

_Don’t screw it up._

He turned and left, before she could order him to go.

Kathryn’s shoulders sagged as the door slid shut behind him. She drank the last of her cider and returned to the coffee table. She set the empty glass down and picked up the tricorder with the message on it. His older self’s tired, haunted visage lingered in her mind as clearly as his words rang in her ears.

_Don’t screw it up._

She walked across the room, pausing to pick up the long-forgotten PADD Chakotay had brought to dinner the night before. She put both items in the drawer of her bedside table.

He would be her reminder.


End file.
